Morning. I�m running late to work as usual. I�m rushing out of the door, buttoning myself up on my way. There�s Ivan Kuzmich sitting on the bench. Everybody calls him Grandpa Kuzya, he is about 80 years old, but his mind is not that of an old man at all. - You�re in a hurry again? � the old man asks. - Yeah, no happiness in personal life, - I reply finishing buttoning up. - That�s because you don�t know what happiness is, - he reproaches me. It�s hard to put up, pay no heed that being 49 something I haven�t known happiness. I stop short, realizing that now I�m sure to be late. But to catch the old man in his overweening delusion is far more important that telling-off at work. What could an elderly person know about happiness? If he ever had it, it was forgotten long ago. - Ivan Kuzmich, and do you know what happiness is? Did you have a cool Mercedes, sexy mistress, pretty wife? And maybe you used to be The Party�s Secretary General? Or a major research worker? Maybe you found and proved the formula of happiness? Tell me. What is this all about? - I�ll tell you just in a word as you�re in hurry. Just briefly and understandably. Listen. Being at work do not think about alcohol and holidays. Celebrating a holiday do not think about work. Being next to your wife, do not think about mistress, while being with your mistress do not think about her husband. Don�t talk to a policeman about money and with kids and neighbors about your problems as the first won�t understand while the late will be glad. Don�t lend money, in the evening don�t borrow salt, don�t throw out garbage. Bring your salary home, don�t be jealous about your wife, check your kids� marks, walk your dog sometimes. And the main thing � always think before you say something. Don�t say anything just to say. You know, a word spoken in past recalling. And for the head working well eat cereal in the morning. - So you want to say that if I think only about my wife, don�t think about vodka, don�t talk about money with cops, don�t borrow salt from my neighbor and eat cereal in the morning, I�ll be a happy man? Is that you formula of happiness? - That�s it, that�s my formula of happiness, - the old man replies with joy, - and you should find yours yourself. When you find it, you�ll feel like a happy man. - Hey, it looks like you�re talking just to kill time. Cereal, vodka, cops� why should you tell me all this? - Well� yesterday I�ve been to a dentist. Been installed new dentures. He said that I should speak a lot to get used to them. And here you are, I talked to you and seem to get used�
